QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

 

I had planned a party for my daughter's sixteenth birthday party to be held in our home.  As a Safe Homes parent I took all of the suggested precautions to keep the party alcohol free.  I established ground rules with my daughter making it clear that the responsibility for hosting this party belonged to both myself and to her.  We created a guest list.  I told my daughter that alcohol and other drug use was strictly prohibited in our home.  I informed myself and my daughter about the laws and consequences of serving alcohol and other drugs.  I supervised the party, met my daughter's friends, did not allow guests to come and go, and made myself aware of the signs of drug and alcohol abuse. Even after taking all of these precautions I ran into the following problems.

 

The party had been under way for about two hours when the doorbell rang.  I went to answer the door and it was one of my daughter's friends, an invited guest.  It was obvious that he had been drinking...

 

 What do you do when you host an alcohol free party  and someone shows up who has been drinking?

 

*  Make it clear that they cannot attend the party.

*       Do not allow them to leave until they have a sober, responsible person to drive them.

*  Make it clear that if they do choose to get in their car and drive away that you will be forced to contact the police.

*  Contact the police if the young person is at all belligerent or refuses to cooperate with you.

*  Consider contacting the young person's parents.  After all, if it was your son or daughter wouldn't you want to know?

 

During one of my trips downstairs to check on things I decided to start cleaning up a bit.  As I went to throw some of the cups out in the garbage I noticed that some of them contained beer.  I looked in the garbage and discovered several empty beer cans...

 

 What do you do when you host an

alcohol free party and you discover

that alcohol has been consumed by minors in your home?

 

*   End the party immediately.

*       Call the parent of each young person and tell them the party is ending, why it is ending, and that the children were asked to go home.

*  Call the parent(s) of the drinking violator(s) and ask them to come pick up their son or daughter.

*  If the parents are not home, contact a relative or family friend to take responsibility for the young person and the pick-up.  Talk to the parents at a later date.

 

 A few weeks following my daughter's sixteenth birthday party she was invited to attend a party at a friend's house.  I was hesitant, especially considering the fact that even though I had done my best to keep alcohol from my daughter's party, it had still found its way in.  I knew the parents of the home well and checked my Safe Homes registry, discovering that they too were Safe Homes parents.  I contacted the parents and discussed the party with them.  They assured me that there would be no alcohol present at the party and that the party would be well supervised.  I allowed my daughter to attend.  When she returned home that night she mentioned to me that there had been alcohol present at the party.  When I asked her where the parents were she said that they had gone out.  Because something similar had occurred in my home just a few weeks before I was not sure how to handle this situation...

 

What do you do if you hear that alcohol was present at a party held in the home of a Cheshire Safe Homes family?

 

*  Contact the parents and let them know of the information you learned.

*       Try to determine whether or not the information is accurate.

*  Do not allow your son or daughter to go to that home until you are sure

      that it is safe.

 

If you have any questions you would like answered, or if you have suggestions or examples on how to deal with

difficult situations like those mentioned above, contact Cheshire Youth Services at 271-6690.

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