If this sounds like a hard line approach, it’s because it is and here are the reasons:
<Adolescents get
addicted more quickly than do adults because their bodies are still
growing. Brain cells killed by alcohol
are not replaced. (This growth process
continues until approximately 24 years of age.)
It takes an adult 5 to 15 years to become physically addicted to
alcohol. It takes an adolescent
six months to two years to become addicted to alcohol.
<Young people do NOT drink socially – they drink to get buzzed or to “open up” socially, to become at ease with feelings. (These statements come from the young people themselves – are adults listening?) Drinking to get buzzed, drunk, or to forget problems is one of the early warning signs of an impending drinking problem. And yes, two beers will give a person a buzz! Non-alcoholic beers are not without risk and many adults are allowing their children to drink them and get used to the taste; this can lead to regular use/abuse of other alcohol products.
<When parents allow their children to drink, they are in effect giving an “I don’t care about you” message. They know it is harmful and yet they allow their children to indulge. Instead of teaching a child how to “drink responsibly” why not teach them how to communicate easily with friends, family, teachers? Why not promote and nurture a healthy drug-free attitude? Why not create an environment that teaches and cultivates a healthy self-esteem with happiness that comes from within, not from external forces and certainly not from chemical dependency. Parents and other adults are supposed to set limits! That is their job as positive role models! Young people expect it and deep down they want it! They may not like or agree with your rules and consequences but they serve as a guideline for an informed decision. To create ownership and respect in your family, share responsibility with your children when setting rules and consequences.
<Parents and other adults give young people the message that it’s OK to break the law when they let them drink. Drinking for minors is illegal – and minors are under age 21 – Whether at home or not. For adolescents, there is no such thing as “responsible use of an illegal substance”.
<Because alcohol is a sedative drug, as little as one or two beers begins to put the brain to sleep. The result is that coordination, judgement, and reflexes are impaired. When driving, that can be the difference between an accident and a near miss. When studying for an exam, that can be the difference between an A or a B.
<Increase your awareness of the role alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs plays in your own life. Become familiar with how your personal values and attitudes on this subject impact your judgement of the drug using behavior of other people.
<Keep in mind that we live in a drug-conscious society and that most people use a variety of mood-altering drugs throughout their lifetime for medical and social purposes.
<Know as much as you can about different kinds of drugs or where to obtain this information before your children ask.
<Communicate openly and honestly with your children about drug use rather than moralizing or lecturing about the dangers of drugs. Try to create a safe, caring, sharing environment within your home to foster discussions on a wide range of topics.
<Remember, it is never too early to do drug education and health promotion with your child and never too late to become educated yourself.
<When establishing rules about drug use, be sure and explain to your children how your personal values, attitudes, and experiences with drugs form the basis of your position on this subject.
When Drug, Alcohol, or Tobacco Use is Suspected:
<Don’t bother asking why they did it – the universal motive behind most drug use is to feel good. Be more concerned with changing the behavior.
<If rules have been broken, check to see what part of the rule the child did not understand. Consequences should be clear, nonnegotiable, consistent, and enforced. Rules that are made and not enforced are loaded with loopholes.
<Do not stand between your child and the natural consequences of their drug-using behavior. Don’t make excuses for them to skip school or other community commitments.
<Take a walk, then talk. Reactions resuling from your own fear, panic, or anger only inhibit effective communication between you and your child.
<Maintain perspective on the total life situation of your child not just on the drug-using behaviors, What has caused a disease of feelings that required chemical solutions?
<Ask for outside help if things don’t improve. This is a responsibility you have to both your child and yourself.
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